Yesterday, I had the opportunity to cover an event that I fell in love with years prior, along with genuine human beings, and achieved a sense of “incomplete desire and pride” that I am now certain why I am alive. Incomplete in the notion that I will always want more of this. Incompleteness will only then be “complete” with desire and love that goes into long nights, accompanied by stressful moments. Incomplete in the notion that I will take all the stress, heartaches, and at times, self-doubt, for the bigger picture I’m creating.
I always remind myself that if it was easy, everyone would do what they love, right? At the end of it all, these self-reflective spew of words come from love. Comes from being alive. With tragedies that are sadly the norm, the underlying value that we can take is love. With anything that you do, do it with love. With anything that you are fighting for, do it with love.
Approaching the two-year mark with this simple idea that is slowing growing, I am overwhelmed with what I was able to do. Fear will always whisper in your ear to look at everything from the center. Self-doubt crosses your path, insecurities bring friends, and there you are, in the center of it all being lost in what fear created. Some people will say, “Don’t let this happen to you, fight it.” I don’t agree. Pushing this evil on the notion that it is “failure” is absurd. It’s balance.
Let it happen to you. Let yourself get so lost that you are in the center. You will get all the views you need and when the time is right, you will realize why you are alive. You will push to the edge to get the view that no one can see from the center, and you will be on your way to the next boulder, and the next center, until the day you can see it all. You will balance both views, balance completeness, with the incomplete notions.
Yesterday, I saw pride in performers, and caught glimpses of pride in their families. It was a beautiful and powerful wave of energy that told me, “This is why you are alive, share this.”
Like I said, I am approaching the two-year mark with this music blog that began as a one woman show. I’ve had many heartaches along the way, and got to see who would also be there to encourage me on my journey. I always address the dreamers, so once again, this is for you: People will leave you in the center. Don’t be cruel and do the same to another for a juristic, self-made, karma experience. Continue to the edge, and lead the way for others, and for the love of humanity, never stop dreaming.
And if that isn’t enough to reassure you that you are alive, stand next to a couple of J-Sub’s blasting less than an inch away and with an insane crowd right behind you.